"they could violate me by pinching my butt!"
-- Janette, on if she went to a gay bar with me, 03.17.08
"aren't you glad you have me? otherwise you'd have to wait an extra month for a dinosaur driving a tiny car"
-- Kelly, on correcting me about Mario Kart's release date, 04.18.08
"Maybe you missed your calling as a paparazzi."
-- Bart, 03.30.04
"yeah, that's procrastination biting me in the ass for the 10th millionth time"
-- Kathie, 08.16.07
"I would like to sedated with a brick to the head"
Nietha.net
-- Kelly, on sedation options at the dentist, 02.15.07